I am a Christian. I generally am on board with the whole “wait until marriage” deal. But this is quite creepy. I mean, a Purity Ball? Where you give your daughter a ring so that she pledges her virginity until the day she weds. Some as young as nine years old? Why are people forcing their nine year olds to dwell on this? Apparently the media is not he only place sexualizing young girls.

Furthermore, why is this so father-daughter centric. What about the sons? Are they not important? Do they not need to make elaborate committments to waiting? Why isn’t the son committing to purity with his mom or dad? Wow, I just found a way to make it creepier, huh?

I suppose boys will just be boys, and it’s silly to bog them down with girly concepts like “purity”.

Why is this believed any more effective than prior pro-virginity campaigns? Those have tended to not be very successful. It’s rather funny to me that most of the people I know who managed to wait never signed a virginity pledge. How did they do it?!

But let’s face it…it’s really the fault of colleges anyways. Kids would remain virgins if not for them.

As an aside, I was reading this blog and her comments on a modesty poll. You dig modesty, that’s cool and all. I personally could care less. But this “Modesty Survey” Jill was writing about bugged me. I realize some guys are more comfortable blaming others for their choices. But I’ve found that clothes do little when it comes to being condusive to “impure” thoughts. I mean, attractive is attractive, and avoiding cleavage? Not making a woman less desirable. No, see I find that it’s as easy to have an impure thought about a conservatively dress woman as a lingerie model. You know what I find really works best to control those naughty thoughts? Stick with me here. This might be tough for some to grasp. I just remind myself that women are people to. And you know, if she walks around in a tight top or low cut blouse? Not an invite for me to look at here differently, or with contempt. But you know what I do really hate? That I have to talk about “Remembering” that any woman is a human being. It’s a given. Why should I have to point that out?!



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  1. Hi There.

    I stopped by your blog via the WordPress Tag Surfer.

    My name is Ali Eteraz and I am international finance and human rights lawyer and founder of Eteraz.Org: States of Islam, dedicated to creating a global progressive Islamic Reform movement.

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  2. Hi. I followed the link on Feministe and read your post, and thought I would comment b/c it was good. It’s great to see someone who identifies as Christian pointing out that a belief in “waiting until marriage” (for religious reasons, I assume) has got NOTHING to do with false beliefs about women’s clothes, behaviour, ‘modesty’ etc. As you say, “most of the people I know who managed to wait never signed a virginity pledge” – yep, I think that true religion is all about private decisions, not about public declarations/pronouncements/judgements on others…

  3. Thanks…I was kind of on two tracks…last week I had read Jill’s post. This week I read that crazy article. I think that there are plenty of reasons to consider abstinence. Religious, health based, emotionally based, etc. But they are all personal decisions. I have my reasons, which are mixed…some religious, some not.

    Thanks again for the kind words.

  4. I saw a piece on this, on ABC News, I thionk, and it’s more creepy than it is with just words. It’s as though these girls were dating their fathers. Ewww.

  5. This is weird. I can understand talking to ones children regard being chaste, male or female, it is not fair to presuppose that a child will have sex as a teen and not wait for marriage. However, these right wing “Christians” need to get past just dealing with the girls and teach the young men to be respectful of women and WAIT also, they might get better results that way.

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