My Pitch for a 300 Sequel

So, people are discussing the possibility of sequel or prequel to the hit 300. Here is my pitch.

301 Spartans
-Thomwade

The original 300 Spartans are dead. After the Greeks successfully fight back against Xerxes and the Persians, the city of Sparta celebrates. After all, after tasting defeat in the battle of Salamis, Xerxes has retreated to Asia. But amidst the celebrations, Herodotus is not satisfied. He misses his friend and King Leonidas. In a totally manly, non-gay way of course. Because the Spartans were manly men. And only in the strictest of heterosexual fashions. So he misses his friend in a strictly macho sense. Okay?

Herodotus decided he must avenge his King. He puts together a crack covert team of 301 of Sparta’s best soldiers to slip into Asia and kill Xerxes as payback. Included in this team is the sexy Cynisca, a princess and athlete who keeps her identity a secret so she can help kill Xerxes.  She proves herself in a fight with bigfoot (wearing only a loin cloth)-echoing Leonidas fighting the wolf in the first film.

The Spartans brave assassins and Persian armies, working their way to a secret mountain top villa. Here the remaining Spartans will ascend to have a battle with the Nazis that have given Xerxes refuge. In an epic battle the Spartans manage to turn around the war in Vietnam and lead America to a stunning victory.  The money shot will be when Leonidas rises from the grave and kicks the living daylights out of Xerxes, strapping him to a nuclear bomb and firing him into the sun, which is dying, thus restarting the sun and saving the planet.  As long as it is as visually kick ass as the first one?  No one will care.  I am pretty sure there is room in there for a message about protecting the environment.  Maybe instead of accusing the Persians of being boy lovers, Herodotus could denounce them as polluters or something.

So, Mr. Snyder, Mr. Miller, call me. We’ll do lunch.