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You know, I have decided that I cannot hope to succeed on skill and talent in this life. Lets face it…that is just not going to happen. Instead, I plan to re-invent myself. TOTALLY re-invent myself. How do I mean?
It’s simple. I am going to write a book that is the true story of me growing up. By true story, I mean completely fabricated. Some might even call it lying. Not me of course, I call it a lucrative business choice. I am going to write about growing up as a young black/Chinese/Cherokee/paraplegic/bisexual/abused (by parents and the system)/drug addict boy and all the trials I faced growing up in a country that did not give a damn about me. It has “powerful Oscar drama directed by George Clooney and starring Matt Damon” written all over it.
“But, Thom,” You ask,”How do you plan to pull this off? You are really white!”
See…I will be the public face. All interviews will be over the phone. Noone but me will see the “Other” me in person. When I go on Oprah, fake me will back out at the last second asking me to step into place for him and speak with Oprah. This will so totally work. I mean, it’s not like it hasn’t been successful before.
