So, I showed a friend, lets call him Frank, this rant from Ami’s blog. After he finished reading it, he launched into a tirade about the lack of cool girls into gaming and comic books. I tried to explain that he missed the point…but after six attempts, I gave up. Which turned out to be almost as big a mistake as letting him see the number of hits my blog got over the weeked.
See, he got it in his head that I could help him find a girlfriend who would really appreciate his “Geekness”. I really tried to avoid this, since that is hardly why I started blogging (Which was originally started years ago to meet Super Models. Who knew they don’t read blogs?). But he pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And pushed. So I relented. Yeah, I lack resolve, people. Please do not ask for money. So, he sent me an e-mail with what kind of woman he is looking for:
——————————–
Thanx for the help, Thom. First off, comic books. She has got to like them. No like love them. But certainly not so much that she can recite as much information about Superman’s Kryptonian heritage. Granted, that might be hard, I mean, who hasn’t heard of Erok El??? But if she at least knows who the new Batwoman is, I am happy. Manga don’t count.
I also want to stress “gamer”. I mean, she should be good enough that I don’t have to explain how to use my PS3, X-Box 360 or Weii. I want a girl with some experience. Well, not too much, if you know what I mean. If she can beat me in Gears of War, that’s one doomed relationship.
TV. She has got to love Buffy and Battle Star Galactica (not the old one, the new kewl one with sexy Cylons!). Same as comics and games. Knowledgeable enough that I do not have to explain everything, but not enough that she could correct me in the rare case I might be wrong.
Music is not that important, as long as she likes Linkin Park and 50 Cent.
Then there is the looks thing. Totally not important, maybe something like Jessica Alba (circa Dark Angel) or maybe Scarlet Johannson. Or that girl from the OC…Rachel something or other. She looked hot dressed as Wonder Woman. I am totally open to all races, especially hot Asian girls. She should take care of herself some, you know, go to the gym and stuff, but not force me to tag along.
That’s it. I am not too picky, afterall. Man, I wish it wasn’t so tough to find a gamer/comic girl who digs geeks, y’know?
——————————–
So…um…there you all go. Any takers? No, you cannot have his address so you can kick him in the groin (I know someone was thinking that!). I know, I know, ladies. You are all thinking, “Why aren’t there more guys like him?” But you are so in luck! Let me let you know where you can find your own Frank (just in case he gets swooped up soon after I post this!)…your local comic shop is chock full of guys just like Frank!
Again, any takers for Frank out there?

23 comments
Comments feed for this article
January 23, 2007 at 5:02 am
Ami Angelwings
*dead*
XDD
I love you Thom XDDD
Tho I’m guessing Frank doesn’t actually exist? :O Then again, I guess Frank is kinda all around us at the same time!
January 23, 2007 at 10:27 am
Ami Angelwings
Oh yah…
Can I have some money?
XDDDD
January 23, 2007 at 1:17 pm
thomwade
Shhhhhhh(Don’t tell anyone, not only is he fictional, but he’s most definitely not Frank Miller. Or Cho.)
January 23, 2007 at 2:02 pm
peter
I love how there’s no mention of the girl’s character or values, just her interests.
That should work out just fine.
January 23, 2007 at 6:11 pm
thomwade
Oh, btw, Ami. How much cash?
Peter-Yeah, Frank knows what’s important. Interests and looks. That’s what makes him such a catch.
January 23, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Lisa
Well, I fit that description almost perfectly. Too bad for you I’m already married.
January 24, 2007 at 2:03 am
Ragnell
He may have to wait until Fembot Manufacturing is finished with GeekGrrl 2.0 model.
January 28, 2007 at 4:57 am
Mithel
I think the scariest thing about “Frank” is that for about 30 seconds, I believed he was a real person. The fact that I could not dismiss “his” existence outright is deeply troubling, at least to me. He is too real, Thom. Far too real.
January 28, 2007 at 5:23 am
thomwade
Sadly, much of my satire has yet to find much of a situation where I am required to heavily exaggerate anything. Frankly, it’s very depressing.
January 28, 2007 at 8:18 am
Nenena
Okay, I’m also one of the people who thought that Frank was real. Because, yeah… All too believable. I have met guys like that IRL.
January 28, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Tamora Pierce
God, you had me going. I was ready to reach through the screen and start punching!
Dude, you are too good. Why aren’t you writing for MAD?
January 28, 2007 at 3:46 pm
thomwade
Nenena,
Something about how believeable people found Frank makes me wonder if I tapped into something from my youth that I have since put behind me and forgot. (I have found enlightenment to be a lifelong process so far)
Tamora,
Wow! Thanks! Seriously. I am actually working at building up a portfolio (I tend to write and draw). But I appreciate the kind words.
January 28, 2007 at 6:02 pm
New Game Plus » “Who wants to be my newest accessory, ladies?”
[...] sent me the link to Geek Dating Help on the blog In One Ear…. Thom, the blog’s writer, posted a call for a girlfriend that [...]
January 28, 2007 at 7:59 pm
skullduggery
I didn’t really think Frank was ‘real’ (it was pretty clear you were exaggerating), but at the same time, I know that there are definitely some individuals out there who, while not exactly Frank, are not very far from it.
Too bad that super model thing isn’t working out for you.
January 28, 2007 at 9:42 pm
thomwade
Skullduggery: Well, as far as the Supermodel thing went…some dreams are meant to die.
January 28, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Jackie
Wow, Frank certainly is special. I almost wish that he was real so I could kick his ass in SSBM eight times in a row. With Princess Peach.
I love how he goes on about how he’s so not picky about his dream girl at the end. It clinches it.
January 29, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Comics Worth Reading » Monday Morning LinkBlogging
[...] jumps off from Ami’s post in satirizing the attitude. Many commenters question whether he went far enough, since they know people who actually do this. [...]
January 30, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Don Brooks
Send “Frank” to Geek 2 Geek (www.gk2gk.com). If he can’t find the right girl there, he can’t find her anywhere.
January 30, 2007 at 7:12 pm
thomwade
Ha! I heard someone once say they needed a geek dating service geeks could join…the need is now being met!
January 30, 2007 at 10:30 pm
Jade Reporting » Blog Archive » Tuesday, January 30, 2007
[...] tired of hearing that I don’t exist! Geek Dating Help Fitting In: Keep Your Mouth [...]
February 7, 2007 at 1:56 am
You Know What We Need to See More of In Comics? « In One Ear…
[...] You Know What We Need to See More of In Comics? February 7th, 2007 No, Frank…not breasts. [...]
March 5, 2008 at 1:13 am
geekdating
There are plenty of Geek girls out there just waiting to be asked on a date. True, they are harder to find, but well worth the effort when you do.
There are a number of specialist dating sites springing up that cater for the ‘Geek’ market. Might be worth checking one of them out.
March 5, 2008 at 1:21 am
geekdating
oh and they’re usually available too - which is always good