Monthly Archive

Wow.  This is unbelievably awful.  Gee, you were raped, but we have to stop that investigatin.  It says here there is a warrant for a really minor crime (in comparison).  What the hell is wrong with these people?!

I found this list intriguing (partially because I know the reviewer and partially because we crossed paths more than once on the top ten).

Wow. This has been sitting in the queue for a week…I guess I should just get it out there:

So, over at the Girl-Wonder boards, a discussion broke out about “Rape In Comics.” That’s not my topic. I will save that for another day. For now lets leave it at, “Please stop raping comic characters for cheap drama. Give us a few years without it, provide proof that you finally have a story where it belongs and we will talk.”

No, towards the end of the thread, the Crow gets brought up. And a particular point is made. Poster Ayezur states:

It’s really not a story that lends itself well to sequeling…

And you know something? That is so incredibly right, it’s ridiculous.

I liked the first movie quite a bit when I saw it years ago. It’s a pretty simple revenge fable. And that is the problem. The sequel is the same damn movie over and over. I got tired of Superman movies just being Lex Luthor making land grabs* (thanks, Bryan Singer for resurrecting that one), so you can imagine story after story of people coming back from the dead to avenge their loved ones gets old really quick. And you cannot really put a big twist on it.

It’s just “We are pure and in love-BAM! We are dead-sob-CAWWWW-Why I am not dead anymore! I can seek revenge on those who killed my beloved ______ and me!” Over and over! Once was enough folks.

*But wait, you say, Superman III did not have Lex Luthor at all! Of course not. It had the Lex Luthor stand in played by Robert Vaughn, much like Chloe Sullivan is the Lois/Pete Ross/Whoever They Need That Week stand in.

 It’s not to late to send me a list of who you think are the most influential superheroes, super villains and super teams.

It seems over the last couple weeks, DC has been put on the defense. Understandibly so. In many cases, it feels like there have been plenty of solid criticisms. The new promotion, the cancelling of titles that feature minority characters, the letter begging women to read Supergirl. It goes on.

The result has been writers really being thrown on the defensive. In the past couple days, I noticed comments from Mark Sable (upcoming Supergirl writer) and Gail Simone (Writer of the Atom and like a hundred other books-how does she find the time?!). And they are in a tough position. On the one hand, they have to keep a good working relationship with their editors and artists. And on the other, you don’t want to send potential fans running.

I really try and avoid making personality judgements of editors, because let’s face it, we rarely see them. We might get an occassional “chat” via Newsarama, but even then, it’s usually the top guys, Joe and Dan. We might get a random “letter from the Ed” (like we did from Supergirl Editor Eddie Berganza). But the intereaction is not as regular as it is with, say, writers and artists. So I feel that I am best to defer to the people who do interact regularly with them for actual judgements of their personalities.

That said, i do think we ought to pay attention to what is said by the editors when they do talk to the readers. And we should challenge what’s being said. But while I enjoy good old fashion needling commentary, I think we in the fan community need to be careful in how we approach the teams on the books. In both cases I cited (Gail Simone and Mark Sable) I have seen examples of both people being polite and thoughtful, while still asking tough questions and examples of people telling the writers how wrong the writers are about their editor’s intentions. And, you know, our speculation outside of the industry is just that…speculation.

It seems to me that rather than put writers on the defensive, we would be better served trying to dialogue with them. Both Mark and Gail expressed a willingness to hear readers’ concerns. I am sure they are not alone in that.

And all that said, let’s not totally lose the frustrated sarcasm. It’s still fun to write and read!

Let me tell you my video game history.

When I was a wee lad, my uncle gave my sister and I an Intellevision. let me tell you, we were masters at Burger Time. After awhile, we got more casual and comfortable around the game system. This resulted in a glass of milk spilling on the console. In case you did not know? This is not good and you shouldn’t be pouring milk on your game system or computer.

This was the end of my career as a Video Game Master. After that, all I got to play was Tetris. Eventually the program became corrupted. I found out a couple years ago that when I was in high school, my mom bought a PS2. And then she returned it before Christmas and bought me something else. What else, I do not remember, since I don’t know the exact year she bought me the video game system.

On a whim, a couple years ago, I picked up a used X-Box system. I have, I think about 20 games. I have yet to beat one of them. See, in keeping me from having easy access to video games as a kid and teen, my abilities as an adult are nil. I needed help from a friend to get to the museum in the Fantastic Four game, and that’s where I am still at. I am at a standstill in King Kong. Don’t even get me started on Destroy All Humans! I do okay in Buffy:Chaos Bleeds…but beyond this…I suck.

So, it makes sense that with a portion of my tax refund I am buying an X-Box 360, right? I got a nice little deal, including a free 12 month subscription to X-Box live. I definitly find that I enjoy playing games more with other people than by myself. Maybe the X-Box Live setup will allow for that.

A very interesting documentary, I recommend people check it out. It’s focus is on the MPAA and how they rate movies. And who rates these movies.

The movie tries to determine who this secret group of people are who are hired to determine whether a movie gets a G, PG, PG-13, R or NC-17. And how they decide. At one point have you said “fuck” to much in your movie? At what point does a sex scene become too “graphic” and go from “R” to “NC-17″? When does violence go from “PG-13″ to “R”?

To anyone who watches movies with a fair amount of regularity, it should be clear that ratings are determined quite inconsistantly. They interview a variety of directors such as Wayne Kramer (The Cooler), Kimberly Peirce (Boys Don’t Cry), John Waters and many more discussing how often they had to snip portions of their movies to avoid the NC-17 rating. The main reason to avoid this is that movie theaters tend to avoid those films. So studios prefer not to release an NC-17 film if they can avoid it.

Of course, the whole point of the film is to challenge how the ratings system works…how it’s determined what rating a movie will get. It’s clear the ratings system needs to be overhauled. Oddly, as direct and straight forward as the film is, some people miss this point and come away with bizarre conclusions, such as it should not be legal for a movie theater to discriminate against an NC-17 film(Not a point of the film at all). But to rightly apply such a law, you would have to make sure your local Art House Theater could not descriminate against a Michael Bay film. Think about that, sure, your local theater could not say no to the Dreamers… but your local arthouse theater could not say no to Bad Boys 2. I think we would be better to focus on the ratings system itself, like, you know, the movie does.

Well, I decided to take advantage of the recognition my blog has been getting. I lined up this interview here with the man himself, Booster Gold.

Thom: Greetings Booster, it’s great to see you managed to elude death. I admit, DC had me pretty peeved with that bit.

Booster Gold: Well, it was pretty hush hush. It’s all about the reveal. And it sure beat getting incinerated or, you know…shot in the head.

Thom: Yeah, that must have been a tough time for you.

Booster: Well, you know, Ted and I go way back.

Thom:All the way to the Justice League?

Booster: Yeah. Man, those were some great days. When I first joined, I was nervous. I mean, Jon, Dinah and Bats are all pretty intimidating types. They had all those years of experience on me and noone was sure if they could rely on me. But Ted stepped up to the plate. Sure, there were some embarrassing moments-

Thom:The Kooey Kooey Kooey debacle?

Booster: Uh…yeah. Anyways-

Thom: That was the time you and Beetle set up on a casino resort on an island that was alive, right?

Booster: Um…yeah, really, you don’t have to say any-

Thom:Cost the Justice league thousands of dollars, right?

Booster: Really…you know, you promised you wouldn’t bring that up.

Thom: I did?

Booster: Yeah. It’s in this contract you signed.

Thom: Can I see that?

Booster: Sure.

Thom: Huh. I also promised not to bring up Super Buddies and Your marriage to Gladys?

Booster: Yeah.

Thom: Man that was stupid of me. I guess I will have to wing it now, because, frankly, most of my questions relate to those three things.

Booster: Gee, great.

Thom: Well, how did the fake death thing impact your regular life?

Booster: Well, one of the tough parts was explaining to my wife Gladys that I was not actually dead. That it was faked. Apparently as soon as she heard the news, she put a stop on all my credit cards and bank accounts. That really sucked. But thank God for endorsement deals. And being able to claim I was dead but am now back in the game? Wonders for potential endorsements.

Thom: You know, I heard a rumor that your marriage was ret-conned out after Infinite Crisis.

Booster: Really? Noone told me. So I could have gone on that date with Jessica Simpson afterall? Damn.

Thom: Yeah. Speaking of Infinite Crisis, you seemed pretty determined to make good on Beetle’s legacy. To be a real hero. What happened?

Booster: Well, I had gotten out of the public eye…then we tried the Super Buddies thing. That really got Beetle and me thinking about what we had become. It was like…we used to be respected, now noone took us seriously. I got some calls from Ted and then, suddenly, he’s dead. But getting back in the hero game meant I needed money…so I was able to swing some endorsements and then…well, it snowballed from there. But then Rip Hunter came into the picture.

Thom: How was it playing the noble hero as Supernova?

Booster: Pretty damn cool. Plus, I got to hang out and use Kryptonian tech. “Eat Phantom Zone, Skeets!!!”

Thom:And he did…

Booster: Yeah…I can’t say Rip and I really saw that coming. But, hey, sometimes things don’t go quite as expected, you know?

Thom: Man…that would have been a great segue to Kooey Kooey Kooey. You sure we can’t talk more about that?

Booster: Yes.

Thom: Well, looks like we are out of time. Any last words?

Booster: I am officially single now. You wouldn’t happen to have Mary Marvel’s #, would you? Maybe Power Girl? I lost all my contact info since Max went crazy and WW had to snap his neck. Dark times…dark times.

This is still a part of the “Advice” series. Last time we touched on how to get the attention of the elusive female reader, and we addressed how to write and draw women. This time, I am going to approach the sensitive topic of “Homosexual Characters In Super Hero Comic Books”.

The gays are everywhere these days. Even the comic book industry and fandom. So, that is an audience to tap. The problem is, writing for Marvel and DC entails approaching Gay Characters in slightly different fashions.

Writing Gay Characters For Marvel:
1.Avoid making it obvious. Don’t let them have significant others. Unless the significant other is an alien shape shifter. This way, if angry conservative or specifically religious leaders complain, you have an out. It’s not really a “gay” relationship-one of them is an alien! See? Bullet Dodged.

2.If you decide to throw caution to the wind, ignoring # 1, and have your lead hero be gay, keep a few things in mind. Their significant other should be tragic. Give them AIDs or something. You are better off to simply never show the hero with a significant other. In fact, maybe avoid giving them any actual outlets that might show they are gay. Like dates. Your gay super hero should have a name that really tells you he is gay. And maybe make sound a little kinky (but safe for publishing). After a few issues, you are going to want to kill him or her off. Make it really horrible and gruesome. The gay audience identifies with such major tragedy. You know what drama queens they can be!

3.If you “out” an established character? Make it abrupt and flashy. Don’t have a scene where said costumed do gooder quitely comes out to a team mate in their secret base. Have them come out to a villain, in the middle of a big fight!

4.The easiest approach is to have a supporting cast member be gay. That way, you can show a diverse cast, yet not have to deal with any uncomfortable subjects regularly, plus if you have a dramtic “gay related” issue you want to address-you have a character ready and waiting.

5.Play your gay character for laughs.  Everybody finds a campy gay character endearing.  It also makes them seem less threatening.

Writing Gay Characters For DC:
1.DC is more open than Marvel. If you are working for Vertigo. But face it, we are talking about comics people actually read. For your Super Heroes, you have a wide range of Options. Hot Lesbian and lesbian. If you move into the Wildstorm Universe, then you are allowed to have male on male Super people action. But in the DC universe(where comics are for kids and remember, comics are not for sex education), you’re male super heroes are firmly hetero. If anyone questions it? Make sure you write a story where they have sex with a girl. At least once, then you can put those rumors to rest.

2. If you really don’t want to restrict yourself to Hot Lesbians or General Lesbians, you can always go the route of approach is to have a supporting cast member be gay. That way, you can show a diverse cast, yet not have to deal with any uncomfortable subjects on a regular basis, plus if you have a dramatic “gay related” issue you want to address-you have a character ready and waiting. You can deal with that AIDs story in a timely way. And plus, it’s comic books, you can either wait for someone to retcon the AIDs away, or you can use magic to cure them. Or maybe you want to tell a story about gay bashing-you alerady have a gay cast member to get beat up! Or how about gay marriage? Sure, you could simply treat them as another member of the cast, but when you have the opportunity to use them to make a statment-why would you make any other choice?!

Of course, every now and then, adhering to these simple rules will garner some criticisms. If people complain about this kind of treatment, just accuse them of being homophobic. Now you ask, what if the person complaining is gay? Isn’t that a problem? No, the solution is deceptively easy! Simply accuse them of being a self loathing gay person!

Listen, if you want to write intelligent, thoughtful portrayals of gay people? Be my guest and be an “indie” creator(or at least write for Vertigo). Don’t come crying to me when all you are left with is being recognized for your work and given awards by GLAAD.

So, in my Netflix queue, I have a few movies that are going to be arriving in the next few weeks that I have somehow just never gotten around to seeing, but feel like I should have seen them.  Taxi Driver, Raging Bull and Dog Day Afternoon.  But first up are In the Mood for Love, 2046 and The Road to Guantanamo. 

Captain Marvel can’t just stay dead?  Screw you, Marvel.

If he’d have been black, they would have let him stay dead…just ask Goliath.

I got a letter from Maxim Magazine the other day. First, I noticed they wanted to entice me with Jessica Alba.

I won’t lie. I think she’s quite attractive (although she seems to be getting dangerously skinny and losing her appeal every year). But I am not yet convinced, just because they throw Jessica in my face (the mini pamphlet also features Angelina Jolie and Eva Longoria for those wondering).

They are offering me two years for the price of one! Why? Because Maxim is written especially for me. They say so, and addressed the letter to “Friend”. Unlike Playboy, who just send little cards in the mail to try and get my money (it hasn’t worked, but they are persistent!). How impersonal. See, according to the letter, Maxim speaks my language. Maxim is here to celebrate everything that makes my life outstanding! “Hot women, cool cars(i have a 1997 Saturn), cold beer, high tech toys, breath taking sports action, spectacular sex.” Wow. They really, really got my number.

Maxim always delivers the goods! The letter says so! According to this letter I can learn secrets to dining with piranhas and how to hypnotize my penis!!!! (There’s an image for everyone)

Yes, as I said, it’s clear Maxim knows me all to well. They must have been spying on me. Clearly, Maxim is an avid reader of my blog. How did they know my weaknesses? How can I say no? Should I?!

But seriously…I’ve seen issues of Maxim. They hit the right buttons about…oh..never. Sure, they have had plenty of actresses/celebrities I thought were attractive normally. And yet, in Maxim’s hands, they looked immensly unappealing and come off as vacant. Totally devoid of any personality. And Maxim’s interview style is to try and make every woman they talk to sound like a sex kitten, totally devoid of any personalty and that vacant porn star look in their eyes. Blah. They remove any character and personality a particular woman has and reduce her to a sum of physical parts and *giggle* “erotic” talk.

I resent that Maxim thinks that what I want to see in a woman, whether it’s a friend I am running to the movies with or Jessica Alba. I resent that Maxim thinks “my language” is hot cars, hot women, cold beer and dwarf tossing.

So, no I do not think I will be taking the special offer, boys.

But I am glad you are reading my blog.

At least, according to this article.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be
worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top
levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.

Um…they worshiped Jim Jones as well.

My friend Adam asked this on his blog:

If you could ask God one question what would it be?

Honestly?  My question has been plaguing me since Christmas.

Hosea 2:2-23 (for the sake of space…I removed all of it. Click the link to read it)

Most of the time, I can see a certain logic to certain things, such as God sending people to hell for rejecting God.  I may not be comfortable with it, but I can see the logic in it and also see how it doesn’t automatically contradict the idea that God can be fair, just or loving.  But this verse?  How can I read that as anything butsadistic?  It’s the systematic humiliation and breaking down of someone until they “see that they need you”.  How is that “loving”?  Seriously, if any of my married friends described treating their wives in such a way (and yes, I realize that the wife thing is a metaphor for God’s people) I would not only be angry and horrified, I would think they needed jail time.  Ironically, the more I look at those verses, I don’t believe this is the set that gave me pause, but I am struggling to locate the one that was similar, but also states that God would tear at the flesh of Israel and bring “her” down until “she” saw her need and dependence on God.  And then God would lovingly tend to the wounds and they would live happily ever after, God and his Bride (okay, I am going off memory).  And I can’t find a way to see that as anything but vicious and cruel.  I am trying to see it another way, but it all seems like excuses.

ADD:I think I am changing my Question.  God…will you get me an X-Box 360 for my Birthday?  And a copy of Marvel Ultimate Alliance to go with it?

I really…really find the State of the Union Address…pointless. Mainly because the President mentions things that he never addresses again. Remember ending our addiction to oil? Remember no child left behind? I would ask my friend Peter, but he’s a history/current events teacher and so, often behind on the times.

It started out pretty well. Everyone was friendly. Then, Bush started on the stuff we must do. Balance the Budget. Great. Ten minutes of applause. We can do it without raising taxes. I make less than $30,000 a year, I can go for that. Ten more minutes of applause. Stop the sense of entitlements…like what…wire taps? Sorry,that was snarky. Lets fix medicade and save social security. Bravo! So far, these are hard things for me to argue against.

Hey! He did mention No Child Left Behind…maybe he will allow funding this year? Oooo…I gotta admit…the Health insurance thing sounds potentially nice (except for if you’re pretty well off).

Temporary worker program. Hmmmm. May help, especially with all them Canadians sneaking over the border to take advantage of our healt-what? They aren’t? Whoops! I was wrong about that “dependency on oil” thing. We need to get rid of our dependence on foreign oil. Yeah, yeah, he said he wants to cut down on our oil consumption by 20%. So why haven’t we seen any action since the last time he made this claim?

You know all those polls showing the Presidents approval numbers? I think everyone who gives him high marks is sitting in that room. At least, judging by the applause.

Ahhhh…the war. Listening to Bush talk about this is funny. He’s not completely wrong. Iraq is suffering from sectarian violence, of course, but also from outside forces that are not our biggest fans. Bush claimed Iraq was part of that war on terror in 2003. And he was wrong. Iraq was far from a frontline in the (absurdly named) “War on Terror”…but now it is…because we went in. And Mr. President? When the last big victory we had in Iraq were elections one year ago…we are not doing so well. And I am not sure the proposed surge is going to change things for the better. I get that high tailing it out of Iraq is not a swell idea. I realize that could turn Iraq into the thing you claimed it was in 2003. But it all feels like desperate grabbing at straws now.

Wow. That’s rather depressing. Lets stop looking at what was said and how it all played out(in my head, which is far less boring than what we all saw). Nancy Pelosi wearing that “Bush: # 1 Terrorist” T-Shirt seemed totally inappropriate. On the other hand, when Bush slapped her ass as she introduced him was not really the best moment either. I also thought the Mission Accomplished banner behind Bush was a bit premature. Having John McCain do that dance in the dress was downright mean.

Did anyone else notice Cheney pointing into the camera and mouthing “You better be careful, Patrick Fitzgerald”? It only got creepier when he casually pulled out a rifle and started loading it with birdshot.

When Bush showed pictures of Angelina Jolie’s adopted kids saying how proud we are to call them American citizens, it got a little weird. Frankly, it looked like pandering to the Hollywood African Baby Adopting Elite.

So there you have it:

Energy, health care, No Child Left Behind, economy good, global warming, terrorism, America rocks!

The Rebuttal: America is great! Save New Orleans! Let’s work together! Economy Bad! American workers do not make enough! Iraq ends soon! Iraq/Korean War Comparison! America is great!

Sorry…I lost the gusto to put any real effort in there at the end. Plus these guys in black suits are peeking into my window.

Or, where once again I rip off Ami’s blog!

Specifically, she has mentioned a couple times this really obnoxious Bravo special (well, series of specials).  The Superhero and villain lists were bad.  The vixen list was the worst.  See, we did not see one woman in the Superhero list.  It was all men.  Wonder Woman went on the Vixens list.  Along with Bond Girls (And that is beyond insulting, as Domino stands head and shoulders above Christmas Jones) and Felicity Shagwell from Austen Powers.

So, I have decided to try and counter Bravo’s pathetic lists.  But I want to make it a fan effort.  I would like to compile three lists.  Ultimate Superheroes (Male), Ultimate Superheroes (Female) and Ultimate villains.  I broke down the Superhero list to genders for the simple reason as to give heroes of both genders a fair share of the pie.  I didn’t want the list to consist of, say 16 male heroes and four female ones. 

The reason I don’t just compile my own list is simple.  Mine would look like:

1.Plastic Man
2.Superman
3.Blue Beetle
4.Booster Gold
etc.

So what I am asking is this.  E-mail me at Admin@in-one-ear.com with your choices and why for each category.  Who are your favorite Supervillains?  Why?  What makes you love Superman, Spider-Man or Wonder Woman so much?  Feel free to include several choices, in fact I recommend it.

Oh heck, lets add a fourth list!  Ultimate Teams and Team Ups!  That would be either regular teams, such as the JLA or Runaways or team ups, such as Blue Beetle and Booster Gold or Power Man and Iron Fist.  Lets do it, people.

So, I showed a friend, lets call him Frank, this rant from Ami’s blog. After he finished reading it, he launched into a tirade about the lack of cool girls into gaming and comic books. I tried to explain that he missed the point…but after six attempts, I gave up. Which turned out to be almost as big a mistake as letting him see the number of hits my blog got over the weeked.

See, he got it in his head that I could help him find a girlfriend who would really appreciate his “Geekness”. I really tried to avoid this, since that is hardly why I started blogging (Which was originally started years ago to meet Super Models. Who knew they don’t read blogs?). But he pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And pushed. And pushed. So I relented. Yeah, I lack resolve, people. Please do not ask for money. So, he sent me an e-mail with what kind of woman he is looking for:

——————————–

Thanx for the help, Thom. First off, comic books. She has got to like them. No like love them. But certainly not so much that she can recite as much information about Superman’s Kryptonian heritage. Granted, that might be hard, I mean, who hasn’t heard of Erok El??? But if she at least knows who the new Batwoman is, I am happy. Manga don’t count.

I also want to stress “gamer”. I mean, she should be good enough that I don’t have to explain how to use my PS3, X-Box 360 or Weii. I want a girl with some experience. Well, not too much, if you know what I mean. If she can beat me in Gears of War, that’s one doomed relationship.

TV. She has got to love Buffy and Battle Star Galactica (not the old one, the new kewl one with sexy Cylons!). Same as comics and games. Knowledgeable enough that I do not have to explain everything, but not enough that she could correct me in the rare case I might be wrong.

Music is not that important, as long as she likes Linkin Park and 50 Cent.

Then there is the looks thing. Totally not important, maybe something like Jessica Alba (circa Dark Angel) or maybe Scarlet Johannson. Or that girl from the OC…Rachel something or other. She looked hot dressed as Wonder Woman. I am totally open to all races, especially hot Asian girls. She should take care of herself some, you know, go to the gym and stuff, but not force me to tag along.

That’s it. I am not too picky, afterall. Man, I wish it wasn’t so tough to find a gamer/comic girl who digs geeks, y’know?

——————————–

So…um…there you all go. Any takers? No, you cannot have his address so you can kick him in the groin (I know someone was thinking that!). I know, I know, ladies. You are all thinking, “Why aren’t there more guys like him?” But you are so in luck! Let me let you know where you can find your own Frank (just in case he gets swooped up soon after I post this!)…your local comic shop is chock full of guys just like Frank!

Again, any takers for Frank out there?

Ahhhhh Power Girl. She’s another relative of Superman’s-originally. She was a Kryptonian on Earth 2 before Crisis On Infinite Earths threw her origin into epileptic convulsions. And when she debuted, she wore this little number.

As you can see, it’s basically a one piece bathing suit and a cape. And compared to modern incarnations? It’s pretty modest. Over the years, the neckline creeped down and the bottom narrowed. And the breasts grew. Apparently she was not finished growing up when we first met her.

And Now we have this:

Note what people “affectionately: refer to as the boob window.  We currently are told that the reason for that window is not to give the boys a nice look at Power Girl’s overwhelming chest(and seriously, who could avoid staring if they were standing in front of her?!  Those breast are capable of blocking the sun dammit!).  Nooooo.  Seriously!  The reason?  She has not found her “logo” yet.  That window is supposed to be where her “Superman” style shield goes.  It’s a good try, but I am not buying it.

So I decided, like Supergirl, I would try and create my own idea of a costume for Power Girl to fight crime in.

Here it is.  I am not fully satisfied.  There are things I think could be better.  But note, no Boob Window.  No bare legs.  Like Supergirl, I wanted an iconic look to the costume.  I kept the color scheme and yeah, the big breasts, since they are pretty solidly within canon at this point.  Yes, another idea that DC would never use.  Which is why they will probably never hire me. 

Tom Hanks is…

007…

First, I am a little nervous about posting this.

Over on Loren’s One Diverse Comic Book Nation he bravely confessed to an ism he is trying to overcome. And I applaud this, because frankly, it’s about the only “ism” I have seen that people don’t seem to feel the need to overcome.

Christians.

Why am I nervous?  I is one.  I hang out at a lot of comic themed places on the net. Most of my regular haunts are pretty left leaning, so to speak. And one thing I have noticed, is that they are all full of fairly open minded people who don’t like predjudice and phobias. And yet, it’s more than easy to find a thread that might initially having nothing to do with Christianity suddenly get turned into an opportunity to bash Christians.

In comics I can think of about three Christian characters off the top of my head (Wolfsbane, Nightcrawler and David from Strangers in Paradise). I could maybe expand it to six if I open it to TV and movies. I can recall heroes having to square off against religious bigots and religious motivated villains in comics, television and movies more often than be friends with them. At best, Christians are becoming comic relief. And a lot of people seem to feel that this is okay. Somehow, we Christians all deserve to be lumped into one category.

It’s always a bit frustrating to me that people who will make every effort to remind people that most Muslims are not terrorists, gay men are not pedophiles, most feminists don’t hate men, etc. rarely, if ever, have a problem with assuming all Christians approve of blowing up clinics, killing doctors who have performed abortions, killing gay people, etc. I know quite a few Christians. I know not one that approves of Fred Phelps and his anti-gay “church”. I know not one that celebrates or approves of killing doctors or blowing up clinics.  I admit, i do know a few that think all feminists hate real men.

And yet, if Pat Robertson says something stupid? It’s held against all of us. An Imam can espouse killing cartoonists (and start riots) and we have to remember that not all Muslims agree with that Imam or the thousands of rioters. Pat Robertson (stupidly) suggests a meteor might strike Florida and Christians are suddenly threat number one. Don’t misunderstand here, it is important to remember that the majority of Muslims are not terrorists. Especially here in the U.S. where violence by a Muslim is rare, and pretty much all Muslims living life like most of, trying to make a living and just get along without to much trouble. But the people who wear kid gloves for every single possible ism, suddenly feel okay taking the golves off for Christians.

Now, having said all that? I actually understand why many people have trouble with Christianity. I realize that much of the public face in America and much of the western world has been aggressive about things it does not agree with. In the past, they have been mightily intolerant (especially of the gay community) In more recent years, the conservative Christian community has tried to adopt more of a “don’t ask, don’t tell”, which is entirely unhelpful. Many people, such as Jerry Falwell, have routinely denounced groups across the board, such as “The Feminists” for their evil supposed “anti-Family agendas”.

Even more so, many people have faced heartless and cruel rejection for not being what their family, friends and Church expected of them. So certainly, I understand that between personal experience with unloving family members, friends and Churches who rejected them for not falling into “place” makes it hard. But you know? I have had bad experiences with most racial groups, the gay community, feminists, atheists, (and yes ->)Christians and dancing leprechauns. You know…I really feel it’s my job to not let the bad moments distort how I view those groups in general.

Am I asking that much that I not be judged by Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell?

I recently mentioned Milestone Media. Well, Colleen Doran stumbled on some unpublished artwork she did for a series that never saw the light of day for them. To bad this is all that ever became of it, looks intriguing!

What can I say? I aim high. Over at One Diverse Comic Book Nation, Loren talks about his love hate relationship with Smallville. I understand this, as that pretty accurately describes how I feel about the show. I don’t watch Smallville in first run anymore. I wait for it to hit DVD.

I grew tired of the whole Clark/Lana deal. Why are they so into each other? I don’t get it. Chloe was, early on, the Lois stand in. And I liked that general concept of someone who might inspire Clark to seek out a journalism career. Of course, the whole unrequited love got tiring fast, as it felt so “Some Kind of Wonderful”…Lana is the flashy hot girl that Clark likes, Chloe is the “plain”(in the TV version of plain, which means she is still hot) girl Clark should notice, but fails to see “what is right in front of him.” Pete Ross was well cast and so Clark had this tiny group of friends from whom he hid the secret. His parents were well cast as well. And then there was Lex and his father, Lionel Luthor. This was the most inspired casting and some of the best stuff of the early seasons. John Glover never fails to impress as Lionel.

And yet, so often, the show drops the ball. Potential great storylines are quickly resolved. Jor El is one minute ominous and threatening, another wanting Clark to save the earth. So, I decided to present my outline of what I would have done with each season. Now, mind you, some of the things reflect stuff that did happen.

Season 1: This season is a little tough. It’s the introduction. I would have made more of the struggle the Kents feel between protecting their son and knowing he has gifts that can help people. To often they erred, rather falsely, on “keep the secret.” Superman is a result of his parents. He does what he does, because they knew that as much as they may want to protect him, he has to do what is right. In Smallville, they set up the premise that almost suggests Superman becomes a noble hero in spite of his parents. I also would have reflected the relationship between Jonathon and Clark versus Lionel and Lex a bit more.

Season 2: I would have followed this one a bit more as it played out. However, about five episodes before the finale, I would have Clark decide he has to tell Lana about his secret. So he sits her down in the loft and tells her everything. And she takes it badly. Very badly. She spends the rest of the season resenting Clark, seeing him as a reason her parents are dead. Now, she doesn’t get revenge-y or anything. She just stops talking to Clark. His worst fear was realized. Lana rejected him when she found out the truth. Pete knowing the truth, tries to talk to Lana, but that’s know help. She closes off.

Clark is also caught up in his struggles with Jor El. I would have made sure that Jor El seemed more ambiguous. His words could go either way. Maybe he is saying he sent Clark to be a hero…maybe a conquerer. Clark’s relationship to his parents is becoming more strained, as is his friendships with Pete and Chloe. The only friendship he seems to maintain is the one with Lex.

Lex, in trying to be noble like Clark has been secretly researching Lionel. Of course, Lionel knows and has Lex dispatched, at least it appears that way. The plan doesn’t quite work, but Lionel thinks Lex is dead. Clark, now feeling friendless and with little support destroys his spaceship, causing damage to the homestead and wounding his mother. Clark, in an effort to forget the damage he has done, puts on the Red Kryptonite ring and drives off.

Season 3: Everyone’s looking for Clark. The Kents are exhausting every avenue, Chloe and Pete are searching for Clark. Lionel offers help to Chloe in locating Clark. While reluctant, she says okay, and through the season, becomes somewhat seduced by the perks of doing work for Luthor.

We find Clark in Metropolis. He is living the high life of popular guy and top bouncer at a top club, a club run by business man/mob boss Morgan Edge. He sees potential in his club’s young bouncer and takes an interest in him. Clarks semi-high profile allows Lionel to find him. Lionel points Chloe in the right direction. She tries to talk to Clark, but he rebuffs her. She returns to Smallville and alerts theKents.

Lex is hiding out in L.A. He is hiding out with a friend, Sebastion. Sebastion has a secret. He leads a cult. Lex is swayed by his friend’s words and ends up joining the cult, the Church of Blood.

Dr. Swann contacts the Kents, trying to reach Clark.

About mid season, desperate, Jonathon Kent seeks out Jor El and makes his pledge. Jor El is cryptic as always. This is a meeting of two fathers who care about the fate of the son they share. Jonathon is given a chunk of Kryptonite that temporarily will endow him with the powers of a Kryptonian. He rushes to Metropolis. In metropolis he confronts Clark and they have a knock down drag out fight. The fight results in the destruction of the Red Kryptonite ring, allowing Clark to regain his senses. His father collapses and he rushes him back to Smallville.

The second half of the season is Clark trying to repair all his friendships and relationships. Lana has had a lot of time to come to terms with everything. She and Clark talk quite a bit. By end of season, they are going to try and be a couple, because Lana has to admit, that Clark is not truely responsible for her parents death, and is a good man. And Lana is a generous hearted person. Clark is also introduced to Doctor Swann.

The season ends with a small party of friends and family celebrating Clark being back. But they see on the TV an interview with a man calling himself Brother Blood. Standing behind the seated Brother? Lex Luthor.

Season 4: Clark and Lana date and have a good relationship going. But Clark and Chloe are researching the Church of Blood. They want to try and help Lex. Clark and Chloe head out to California (Clark tried to go alone, but she would not have any of that). Clark discovers her connection to Lionel, because when they get to the airport he discovers they are flying out on a private Luthor Corp jet. This creates some tension. But they put it aside for the time being.

In L.A., they confront Brother Blood, who sets a trap. To save himself and Chloe, he has to reveal his powers. Blood, along with Lex, flees L.A. Clark and Chloes return to Smallville, only to find Moran Edge has been paying visits. Clark spends a few episodes resolving issues with Edge. Chloe finds out that Brother Blood has been seen in another part of the country. And then another. Lionel starts raiding Chloe’s files and makes a startling discovery. He also tries to open communication with Swann.

The end of the season brings them to Gotham, where Clark and Chloe run afoul of a young vigilante. His name? Bruce Wayne. Wayne quickly deduces there is something different about Clark. They team up to go after Blood.

Season 5: They take on Blood, defeat him and then return to Smallville with Lex. Lex is taken back by Lionel, who decides that Lionel needs to be deprogrammed, forcing him through a rigorous and tortured “deprogramming”.

Clark is getting ready for college. He meets a professor he takes a liking to, Prof. Milton Fine. Basically, I would have followed the season 5 Braniac arc. Clark’s eye site gets messed up briefly, forcing him to wear glasses. This is when I would allow Lois to show up. But only on a few episodes. She would not be a regular. I would definitely go with the “Zod” storyline as well. Fine shows up at the Mental Hospital where Lex is kept and passes him a device that opens the door to freeing Zod. It turns Lex into a conduit, to be an acolyte of Zod (not yet revealed).

At the end of the season, Lex shows up at the Kent farm. He explains he is unsure why he was supposed to bring his new “benifactor” to see Clark. And Zod steps from the shadows. Zod grabs Clark and flies into the sky. Zod sends Clark into the Phantom Zone and returns to earth. He tells Lex he has big plans for the planet.

I think I would have also had an episode where Clark meets a hotshot college kid who is a pilot named Hal. Or a cartoonist named Kyle, who has a fancy green ring.

I have to wait for season 6 to hit DVD to decide what I would do differently.

One of the common complaints against recent incarnations of Supergirl is her costume.

It’s one of many, to be frank,very valid concerns. Bare in mind, she’s sixteen. Is it kiddie porn? Not really. But it is absurd and I think part of what keeps a lot of female heroes from being taken seriously.

Now, I realize that the newer outfit of the past couple years is inspired by the animated version of Supergirl from the Animated Superman series.

In comparison, that is a modest outfit.  Supergirl seems more Paris Hilton than Maid of Steel, and I realize that in the DC universe, most alien women, by default, are sexual exhibitionists.  But I think this keeps people from taking Supergirl that seriously.  She’s the cheesecake version of Superman right now.

I’ve toyed around and tried to come up with an outfit that feels more right.  She is Supergirl, Superman’s cousin, so it felt wrong to lose the Superman theme.  What I opted for was getting rid of the skirt.  The main reason is, it seems silly for a girl who flies to have a skirt…especially a short one.  I also tried to emphasize a look of youth and strength with this one.   I hope people like it.  It’s simple, I know.

Um.  Wow?

Okay.  Hargrove is, like, 79.  But you know, both my Grandmothers are older than that.  And neither would make such an idiotic statement.  Get over that whole “slavery” thing?  First off, how often do we ear complaints about slavery?  Oh sure, you might hear a crack from Dave Chapelle or Chris Rock while they are making a pointed commentary about race and culture.  But seriously, when was the last time some black guy walked up to one of us white guys and started going off on us about slavery?

Okay, there was that incident on my way into work this morning, but other than that?  Never!  It just doesn’t get brought up in daily life.  Most African Americans have more pressing matters in their lives, such as, but not limited to, jobs, rent, family.  Crazy, huh?

Maybe I am wrong.  Maybe in Virginia, political discourse goes like this:

Hargrove:  We need to cut spending.
Black Opponent: Slavery, man.
Hargrove:  Crap.  You win again, dammit.

But you know what?  It got worse.  He proclaimed:
“are we going to force the Jews to apologize for killing Christ?“

Seriously?  That’s the guy’s defense?!  First off, any Christian who is comfortable using the phrase “Jews killed Jesus” needs a Bible slapped up their noggin.  Yes, you are an idiot.  Read your Bible.  There were lots of folks involved in that particular killing.  And, frankly, unless we expect “the Whites” to apologize for the murder of James Byrd, Jr.  And that is not likely, is it?

*sigh*

I suppose I should just be relieved he did not trot out, “Heeeey, some of my best friends are black people”, huh?

Now, let’s take a step back.  Suppose, and just suppose, he didn’t mean to say what we heard.  Maybe, when he brought up the “Jews killing Jesus” thing, he was trying to point out the absurdity of generational guilt.  Maybe he was trying to get across the idea that you don’t hold modern people and a society accountable for what people and a society did a 140 years back.  And if 140 years is still recent enough…when does it become far enough back.  Maybe he doesn’t even hold Jews accountable for killing Jesus at all.

That may all be true.  Really.  And yet, the trouble is, we have to go by what and how he said it, not by what he might have meant (at least, that’s how it was when John Kerry screwed up his joke).  How he said it was immensely dismissive of the concerns of members of his community.  He opposes an apology.  Why?  Don’t really know.  Frankly, at this point I do not care.  He used a phrase in such a way that it certainly sounds like he thinks “Jews killed Jesus”.  And when someone raised a complaint about that, he was rude and dismissive yet again!

The sad truth is there might have been a worthwhile debate to be had if Hargrove had engaged his brain before his mouth.

Time for another installment of my advice for my fellow aspiring female audience. Comics are not just read by geeky boys who can’t get dates with girls anymore. Now those girls they can’t get dates with are reading them as well.

This advice is based on my hard work and research over the past couple of years. You want to have a large female fan base? Read on!

1. Skirts and Stilleto Heels:This is important. Nothing is more believable than a female superhero in stilletos. And how about skirts? Nothing tells people a female hero means business than a mini skirt that might let you see her girl bits or underwear. And women appreciate this attention to their fashion sense. If you are drawing a book and these do not appear in the character design? Ignore it and add them!

2. Barely There Outfits: As we all know, women always try and dress to distract us men. Super heroes are no different. A female hero knows that her super powers alone are inadequate to defeat a villain. Get into her head when designing a costume…and if she has no powers? Expose more skin. Because when fighting crime in dark alleys, you want to have as little protection from the elements and weapons as possible. If the breasts are not at risk of falling out, you are drawing the costume wrong.

3. Enormous Breasts and Small Waists: This is a given. Women really appreciate when we artists show how breasts appear in clothing. Basically, draw large round circles, that consume large portions of the torso. The costume should also look painted onto the torso. Don’t worry about observing real life, women hate if you actually understand how cothing looks on their bodies. Weird, I know. Keep the waists tiny. Remember, women like the idea that these heroines are the type of woman you would jump into bed with, not look up to. Don’t draw them like a real woman, with room for minor things like…oh, internal organs.

4. Impractical Positions:Arched backs and twisted spines. Sure, a real woman could not turn so that you can get a good shot of her breasts AND her butt…but that’s what is great. Women really appreciate fantasy.

5. Vacant Eyes: Women don’t appreciate a female hero who has…you know, personality. Keep the expressions vague and lifeless, though a slight “f***k me” expression is desirable.

6. Trace Porn: If you do decide to go for more realism, trace porn! This way, you get those rare women who want a more plausible body type. And bonus: poses. By tracing porn you can get those realistic poses and facial expressions that occur when fighting villains. You can really capture the closed eyes and wide open mouth that scream “OH YESYESYESYES! I am kicking your assssssssssssssss!” Plus, the girl is already naked, so you can draw the costume as it should be…looking like body paint.

7. Keep Her In Her Place: Always make sure that your female hero, no matter HOW powerful, is never more powerful your male heroes-even if she is the title character! And if you forget this point and make her too powerful? Have her go crazy with power and then require her to die. If you don’t want her to end too badly, instead of having other heroes kill her, have her sacrifice herself! Women appreciate when you can show both sides of womanhood. Both the crazy woman who can’t handle her strength AND the noble hero.

8. Whores!: Trying to think of a gritty and tough woman for your comic? Make her a prostitute. Women really appreciate it when you comics feature a cast of women composed primarily of strippers and prostitues. In fact, some writers fill their work with nothing BUT strippers and prostitutes. Women really appreciate this attention to their career options.

9. Screw the Real World: Seriously. When designing your female character, don’t worry about things like body mass, height and weight. Just pick random numbers under 125 lbs and make sure she is shorter than her male counterpart. Women appreciate this attention to detail.

10. Traumatic Backstory: Every super-heroine needs one. Your women readers will not be able to accept the idea that your heroine just happened to use her super powers for good for…you know, the sake of doing the right thing. She needs a motivator. The best motivators are either child molestation or raped in college. At the very least, there should be a lousy boyfriend in her past. Maybe he broke up with her unexpectedly or cheated on her and shot her parents and puppy.  And then raped her.

I need to give credit, where credit is due. I could never have compiled such a list without the kind folks at Girl Wonder as well as other female fans on the web. I know they will really appreciate me putting together this advice for artists and writers, so we can continue to get the fine portrayals of women in comic books that we have gotten for years.

I discovered that creator Leah Adezio passed away.  I would feel wrong to try and pay any personal tribute, as I never really had much contact with her in the online community, and I was never familiar with her work.  And yet, as I have read the rememberences from her friends, I feel a real sense of loss, and wishing I had known her.

I just wanted to direct people to these loving (and heartbreaking) posts from those who did know her.

Heidi MacDonald @ the Beat
Peter David
Elayne Riggs
Colleen Doran

My heart and prayers go out to Leah’s family and friends.

I wanted to do a little experiment when I stopped drinking soda pop. I didn’t exercise at all for the entire week. I ate okay generally, but had fast food no less than four times. I still dropped three pounds. Granted, this week, I go back to eating a bit more sensibly and my exercise routine. I would like to get my weight back under my control. My family has all sorts of fun health risks that are directly related to weight (among other things). So while I am happy as me, I definitely want to be healthy and not deal with things like aching knees and exhaustion as I walk a flight of stairs.

The other day, Doctor Who, season 2 disc 1 came from Netflix. I could not get it to play in my DVD Player. My computer could not recognize the file format. I took it over to my local Hollywood, and they ran it through the buffer. Now it played. Well, halfway through the second episode on the disc, the picture pixelates and reforms something else. Doctor Who is a BBC show, so maybe another BBC show? Nope. A Warner Brothers movie? No. Instead, the final 20 minutes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (A New Line Film) plays. So, I get mostly Doctor Who and then the end of a totally different product on the same disc. <blink>

Identity Crisis has come up again, and it’s not hard to understand why. It’s a controversial piece of work. Kalinara commented about her frustrations on her blog. Loren answered with a slightly different perspective (and being bold enough to share a tragedy from his own life). And I struggle.

See, on it’s own, as a story, I liked it. In spite of the fact that I have always been fond of Ralph and Sue Dibney, and seeing her (and her husband’s) life turned upside down was frustrating. I hated to see her taken out of the DC Universe. Yes, Brad Metzler crafted a mystery with more than a few shocks. And I thought that Rag’s Morales did a beautiful job on the art. On the other hand, it was an opening salvo on a group of beloved characters…intiated, according to a former employee of DC, because DC decided they needed a rape to spice stuff up. Personally, that makes me want to puke.

Understand, I am not opposed to a story in which a rape occurs. I don’t think it’s appropriate for a kids comic. But I would definitely be able to appreciate a story in which the story followed the victim, not merely making the victim a catalyst for the story. Show what she (or he) is going through. If the character who was raped is a supporting member of the cast, it is certainly appropriate to also address how it affects the book’s lead. But it should mostly be about what the victim is going through. And Identity Crisis did not do that. Sue Dibney was raped, and we never got a window into Sue’s soul. What she endured emotionally afterwards (or was she mind wiped?). And of course, that was not the point. The reason she was raped was to elevate a villain to “Bad Ass”. And then to provide an major ethical problem for the Justice League of America. And I am all for forcing Super Heroes to face grand moral and ethical dilemmas.

It is worth noting I am not alone in my ambivelance. Kalinara herself noted that she did enjoy the series. In some ways, this is the most frustrating part. The flaws are glaring ones in an otherwise well written story by a talented (well, in my opinion) writer. And frankly, right now I am at a loss to be able to reconcile the part of me that likes it with the stuff that bothers me.

And completely steals some of my gripes from today’s post away from me!

SPOILER!!!!!!

One of the JLA characters I said was dead now lives. So I will cut them some slack.

CORRECTION: TWO of  the JLA characters I said was dead now lives. So I will cut them some slack.

No, not the current incarnation. Not even the “classic” incarnation. I miss these guys:

Sometime in the mid-80’s, after the Crisis on Infinite Earths, the Justice League of America closed up shop. It returned under the shortened moniker of “The Justice League“. They were formed in the John Byrne penned Legends mini-series. It was written by Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis with art initially by Kevin Maguire.

The book was unique, as it was in the early days of the darker books. And yet, here was this super hero book that was light hearted and fun. We got to see the heroes hanging out and interacting while not fighting a grave danger. Not that they didn’t save the world every other issue, they did. But instead of A-Listers, we were given second stringers (with the exception of Black Canary, Batman, Captain Marvel and Martian Manhunter). The team remained in flux for the first dozen or so issues, and while Blue Beetle, Bats, Guy Gardner, Canary, Martian Manhunter and Mister Miracle stayed, Dr. Fate, Dr. Light and Captain Marvel took off from active duty.

They were replaced by Booster Gold, the Rocket Red, Captain Atom and Fire & Ice (of the Global Guardians). Booster and Beetle quickly became favorites of mine, as super hero best buddies seemed uncommon. This was not America’s Finest. This was two pals who liked hanging out together and had a blast poking fun at each other.

Batman and Guy Gardner were having spats, and while Guy Gardner (of the Green Lantern Corp) continually claimed he should be running the show and threatened Bats (as well as other team members)…Batman took him down with one punch. Best comic book fight ever.

We were also introduced to the wonderfully smarmy Maxwell Lord, who manipulated multiple events (including getting Booster Gold into the League) before finally being allowed to be a representative (against the better judgement of some of the team members) for the League. He ultimately needed the leagues help, as he had gotten himself into trouble years before when he stumbled on a sentient computer. Lord was a sleaze, but still likeable.

This lead to numerous spin-offs, as the League went international. This allowed for even more additions to the teams (Such as Power Girl and Ralph “the Elongated Man” and Sue Dibny) and more than one crossover. We were also introduced to the Martian Manhunter’s love of Oreos. These books gave us incite into the characters, focusing as much on the supporting cast (such as Sue Dibny, Oberon and Max Lord) as the main heroes. They were fun adventures. We even saw them deal with mundane things. Like Blue Beetle trying to get back in shape after putting on weight. Finally, both Giffen and DeMatteis decided it was time to move on after nearly a hundred issues between them (this was over the course of numberous spin-offs and both Justic League America and Justice League Europe). They had the climactic Breakdowns crossover. Then the books suffered. Without the watchful eyes of it’s creators, the writers who followed could not capture the same spirit. An the book floundered before being cancelled.

A couple years back, DC got the original creative team back together for “Formerly Known As the Justice League” and then “I Can’t Believe It’s Not the Justice League”. The old spirit was back, and was loving it. So, why do I miss them?

Well, systematically, DC has been destroying the Justice League I love. Sue Dibney was murdered. Soon after, Maxwell Lord went totally evil and murdered the Blue Beetle (his friend). Max Lord in turn was killed by WonderWoman. Booster Gold was killed in 52. So was Animal Man (a member of Justice League Europe). It’s like DC wanted to make sure that the League could never rear it’s fun and crazy head again.

Thanks DC.

One punch. Bats took out Guy Gardner with ONE punch!

(Not so) Recently, over at Brian K. Vaughn’s message board, BKV pointed his readers to an interview with Chuck Dixon. I actually provided a link to the article a couple days ago. I have sat on this article for a few days. But I have been giving though to why I have an aversion to the idea of race/gender/sexual orientation as a hype tool.

What I am referring to is the fact that over the years, comics have been touted to the public based on their “groundbreaking-ness” in less than noble ways. And no doubt, in many cases, they were a needed challenge to the status quo. And yet, it seems to fall back on old fashioned forms of audience exploitation to sell a new back or a change in direction. In the 70’s, this was definitely done as simply as possible. Include “Black” in the name of an African American super hero’s name. Kind of makes you wonder what code names Marvel and DC would have come up with if they were pushing gay Super Heroes in the 70’s.

It’s different now. The exploitation is both an aim at the curiousity factor of those “not in the group” (and potential controversy) and the people looking for a hero or character that reflects them and their lives. Of course, I understand the excitement that some derive when they find out that a new hero (or an established one) is going to possibly reflect the reader’s own life experience. And yet, all to often, the attempts by publishers such as DC and Marvel (but certainly not limited to) smack of being more exploitive than genuine. When the new Batwoman was announced, the articles and promotion even made a point of noting she was not merely a lesbian…but a LIPSTICK Lesbian. See, they wanted to make sure we understood that she would still be hot. Just in case guys wouldn’t be interested in reading about lesbian Batwoman.

I remember when the Milestone first opened it’s doors. I was curious to read the books, but the hype always felt a little like, “Yes white guy, you can buy our comics, but remember, these are black super heroes”. The writing, thankfully did not, and I have fond memories of several of the Milestone books (such as Icon, Hardware and Static).   Their actual execution was “These are Super Heroes” not “These are BLACK Super Heroes!”  I ultimitely want to read a book based on the intriguing premise (And I know I am not alone in that, it’s probably a given).  And the Milestone books had those. Along with talented creators, it was unfortunate to see the company have to shut down. Although, Static has been resurrected as Static Shock, for the most part, the heroes of Milestone seem to be unfairly relegated as “past”.

Maybe my aversion to to this version of marketing comes from my history within Christianity, and specifically my experiences with Christian “entertainment”. Christian entertainment has a long history of promoting the “faith” aspect of itself. See, you can’t think a band is really talented and has interesting lyrics. It needs a deliberate “Christian” hook. Of course, the reult of this was that while Public Enemy was challenging their audience with politically charged and explosive rap, P.I.D. was telling their audience “get you a Bible” and singing safe lyrics that were youth group friendly.  And you were expected to buy this, because it was your “righteous” alternative to what “The World” was offering.

And this drove me me nuts. Christians were producing art that regularly pandered and never asked their audience to think. This led to lots of crappy music that sold well, because it was sold on the basis of being “Christian”, not being good.  And sometimes I fear that’s what’s going  to happen in comic books with the attempts to look diverse.  They will be “safe” alternatives to the less diverse worlds of Superman and Spider-Man.
The problem is, the diversity needs to happen. I want to see this wide spectrum of characters. I would hate for these changes to not occur. I guess I would just prefer to see the marketing feel more genuine and less like an exploitation. I would like it to be a natural flow for the character…not something shoe-horned in to make a company’s “Universe” look properly diverse. I hope to see more of this, and maybe the “sensational” and “tabloid” approach will die down.

Oh, who am I kidding??? In a world of Infinite Crisis’s and Civil Wars, tabloid is going to remain king for awhile.

Okay. Welcome to another addition of advice for the aspiring creator.

Practice. You hear about it a lot. Artists recommend it. So do writers. It’s mentioned in How To Books. And here is what I say…

Don’t do it. Practicing is way over-rated. If you have artistic talent, you have it. No need to nurture it. And when one says they practice, all they are admitting to you is that they aren’t good enough. Why would you take advice from a person with no confidence in their art?!

Besides, there are so many better things to do with your time. Like playing video games. And let me tell you, unlike drawing or writing? That takes practice to get good at. Or watching DVDs (or just TV). For you writers, that is a great source of ideas. I mean, no comic geek will be able to tell if you ripped off the plot of Legally Blonde 2. Be careful though, as comic geeks will shell out $15 to see Halle Berry and Jennifer Garner in crap-tacular “comic book films”.

Writers also want to avoid “diversifying”. Pick one voice and beat it to death. Don’t try and be one of those “I can write a political thriller, a teen superhero book, a vertigo book and a talking animal book!” Seriously, just look at Brian K. Vaughan’s career, and you will see what a dead end that kind of scattershot writing is.

For artists, realize that “practice” threatens to ruin your distinctive creative voice. For instance, if you were a Jim Lee clone, you might evolve into a Frank Quitely clone. One sure fire way to avoid an “evolving” style is to simply trace everything. Pick an artist you like and trace their work. Or photos. Whatever.

Just remember, while some people will lie and tell you that practice will help your art improve, the truth is, practice just speeds up the inevitible trip to the decline in your work and popularity. Afterall, I’ve heard Stuart Immonen practices…and look where his career is at.

So, I’ve gone practically a full week without pop. I can’t say I really miss it either. Although, one setback I have noticed? The caffeine headaches do push one towards a homicidal rage much quicker.

Speaking of homicidal rages…

As a fan of the original Halloween, this bit of info regarding the script for the new Rob Zombie film is…disturbing. There are lots of potential spoilers if you follow the link. Although, I do like the idea of Malcolm McDowell portraying Dr. Loomis, the role original performed by Donald Pleasance.

Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy, Angel and Firefly/Serenity for those going “Who?!”) has agreed to direct an episode of the Office! He’s the third “big name/feature director to jump on the Office wagon. That’s fine by me, as I still love the show.

Both the Beat and Newsarama are noting that Fangoria claims to have bought the rights to the character Vampirella.

Newsarama also has a fresh interview with talented artist Michael Golden about his upcoming work.

The Beat also has an interesting link to Steven Grant’s thoughts on the Platinum Entertainment situation.

The Pulse notes that Civil War # 7 will be, and you better sit down here…late! Don’t faint folks.

The Pulse had this announcement: Entertainment group Charlie Foxtrot (comprised of several Military Veterans) has announced a comic book called City of Fire. It will deal frankly with the events of June 24^th, 2004. On that day insurgents set off several car bombs, killing and injuring hundreds, assassinated two key police officials and then overran a police station and mosque in the heart of Mosul, Iraq, in an attempt to cripple a city and bring down a country, and how the men of the 1/23rd Blackhawk company, exhausted already from three straight days of combat, went back into the city to take it back. (From the Press release)

Oh, and to throw a little religion into this mix…my friend Adam proposes the theologies of “breaking up”.

Now…I am sure this movie will suck…but this is actually a clever teaser trailer.

In the last few months, I’ve read more blogs regarding diversity and the presentations of women (and other minority groups) in comics. I’ve definitely found my attitudes changing over the years. A couple of years ago, i just did not care. Women in comics are drawn unrealistically? So? So are the men.

I doubt I am going to say anything new. But it’s become a bit embarrassing to read comics. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s always been a little embarrassing, I mean, the Bad Girl craze of the 90’s was horrid.

I don’t have a problem with heroes of either gender not being overweight. As a fat guy, I do not believe that it is realistic that a super hero who is active and fighting crime and super villains would really be overweight. Granted, I found it somewhat heartwarming when Blue Beetle struggled with his weight. But if your super power doesn’t require you to be large, you will likely be at least toned if not outright muscular.

And while that is applied to men in comics, it is most definitely not applied to women. Women are rarely shown as having any muscle tone. They usually have tone tummies, but nothing else seems to be effected by the workout crimefighting might give them.

Is it really asking that much of artist to maybe draw the women in costumes that don’t threaten to flash us? That their breasts not appear to be in danger of knocking over buildings? That they have muscles?

This doesn’t mean artists need to design their characters as body builders, with muscles buldging to ridiculous sizes. And frankly, I think this could be applied to the men as well…the guys do not need to look like monster steroid addicts to seem powerful.

I am not complaining about merely having an idealized form. I am talking about not just making them mere object of lust. I mean, recently (or maybe not so recently), Bendis described Spider-Woman as the super heroine you have a shot at sleeping with (As opposed to Wonder Woman, who we mere mortal geeks have no chance at bedding). And I like a lot of Bendis’ work. I really do…but does he realize how creepy that sounds? She’s a frickin’ fictional character rendered in pencil and ink! Besides, you should admire heroes, not merely want to sleep with them. Heroes represent, ideally, what we aspire to. And I like a flawed hero, but treat your female leads with at least as much dignity as you treat you male leads. Has anyone ever referred to Captain America as the kind of guy a woman could get to sleep with, as opposed to Superman?

The women heroes should be characters we admire. They should be what we men hope for our wives and daughters, sisters, mothers friends, girlfriends…strong, powerful, worthy of respect. Again, this doesn’t mean flawless and without fault. We have allowed our male heroes foibles, the women of comics deserve the same. To be as “real” and “human” as the boys get to be.

I did this rough Powergirl sketch over the course of a few minutes…I don’t know if this is actually any improvement or no change whatsoever…but can’t we at least try?

Am I asking to much?

Oh, in the interest of full disclosure, I am a big Adam Hughes fan…I don’t know if that makes my post totally invalid or not.

Okay. It’s advice day. All you aspiring comic book artists, we need to talk. What is the most important thing an aspiring artist can do? Practice? No. Why spend hour learning anatomy and honing your skills? No, I recommend the “Artist/Writer Feud”. These are classic and make you unforgettable.

Now, in the old days you had to be really established. I mean, who can forget classics Like John Byrne vs. Peter David? Erik Larsen vs. Peter David? Todd MacFarlane vs. Peter David? Uh, I know there were others, but those are the classics that leapt to mind. Well, that and the bloody fist fight between Jim Lee and Joss Whedon at Comicon. Damn, that was weird.

But seriously folks, it’s as important as talent. It helps you stand out. I mean, artists without well known feuds to be forgotten. I mean, who remembers… Adam Hughes, Jim Lee, Frank Quitely, John Cassaday or Bryan Hitch? Don’t ruin the joke by bringing up feuds they were a part of, you geeks.

So, I want to recommend starting a feud or two with well known writers. Thanks to the modern wonder of the internet, you no longer need to be an establish artist. Hell, you do not even have to be a <b>published</b> artist.

First, I recommend not starting a feud with peter David. I mean, he is smarter than you, for one thing. He will make you look stupid. Also in this “I don’t recommend it” category is Harlan Ellison. Yeah, it will bring you notoriety, but he will kick your ass, and it will likely be deserved.

I recommend some of the newer superstars of the last few years. Names such as Bendis, Vaughan, Brubaker or Millar. All have a big web presence and are easy to find. You might ask if it’s required to actually hate them. No, that is not required at all. Always remember, you are attacking their public persona, not their private self. It may even help to be a fan. In my quest to be a thorn in Ed Brubaker’s side, I never forget that he writes good stuff. His current run on Uncanny X-Men is the first time I found Uncanny interesting since Morrison and Whedon. And Jiminy Crickett, it takes awhile between issues of Astonishing X-Men. What’s your problem, Whedon. There is another trick, it never hurts to try and start more than one feud, in case one never really takes off.

It does help if the writer notices you. For example, my attempted feud with Ed Brubaker has born little fruit. But do not give up hope. It’s all about persistence. And reminding them of their place. Remind them, you are the artist. You do the hard work here. Who is more important than the guy who draws the book? Noone. Image proved that in the 90’s and nothing really changes. They finally got their pictures in Wizard? Remind them that if not for you, the penciller, Wizard would have gone out of business. And what speculators bought ten copies of comics because Scott Lobdell was writing them? No one. But they did buy them because it was a Rob Liefeld first issue!

Avoid television writers who dip into the comic pool. They are far busier than comic book writers and do not have the time for feuds. This explains why comic book writers are always seeking that screen writing job. They are greedy. Play on this to start your feud. Rub in that they are just the creator. What do they really contribute? Character development? Plot? Story? Dialogue? You contribute the cool pictures!!!!

I also do not recommend starting a feud with Warren Ellis. He will smash a beer bottle over your head and eat your kidney.

If I think of more, I will add to this, but for now I have to surf the web and see where that punk Brubaker is posting at today…I will get his attention eventually.

Newsflash! Fox & Friends Host Declares Ted Kennedy a hostile enemy combatant! Way to be “fair and balanced”, Gretchen Carlson! Making Minnesota proud.

I don’t consider it a good sign when I sleep through more than half a movie and at no time do I feel the need to jump back and watch what I missed so as to “understand” what’s going on when I actually wake up. Consider that the closest thing to a review from me of You, Me & Dupree.

Continuing my favorite stuff from Bond, I go to the other regular part of a Bond film. The Bond girl. Bond girls serve multiple purposes, the most obvious being eye candy. They also exist as a simple plot device to move the story forward, to provide info that would have been much harder to get otherwise and to give Bond a chance to be smooth.

My criteria is that they be more than pretty, have a reason for being in the story other than as Bond’s love interest. That can certainly play a role, but I am thinking that their motives need to be personal beyond wanting to sleep with James. Whether they are in the story out of vengeance, devotion to homeland or something along those lines, that’s what I want to see. And finally, my criterion requires a skill beyond looking pretty in slinky dresses.

Beware of spoilers for films that are over 20 years old (some are passed 30 years). Proceed at your own peril!

1.Domino

For some reason, Domino has always been one of my favorite Bond girls. Yes, Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress) walking from the ocean is iconic. But for my money, Claudine Auger’s Domino swimming in the ocean, ever so gracefully, is far cooler. That one piece with the mesh strip isn’t to bad either. But part of what I like about Domino is she is not the traditional Bond “bad girl gone good”. She is apparently pretty decent, and notquick to throw herself as Bond’s feet, rejecting him and skeptical of him in their first meeting. While she has ties to the villain, she is not the villain’s girlfriend or henchwoman. He is her guardian. And when she discovers that her brother is dead because of her guardian, she is willing to turn her back and join Bond, and she isn’t a weakling.

2. Tatiana Romanova

Tanya is interesting as a character, because she is working for the bad guys-but is under the belief she is working for the good of her government (The Soviet Union). Played by the lovely Daniela Bianchi (Miss Rome and Miss World 1960 runner up), she seems taken with Bond and him with her, and while she is being duped by Spectre, she is charming enough that you kind of forget that little fact. Yeah, if you analyze it too much it’ll make you annoyed. She’s a top agent, but is unaware that her Superior is no longer working for Mother Russia? I also note that Daniela’s casting goes against a Bond choice of later years with most Russian lead women being raven haired.

3. Vesper Lynd

Vesper was an interesting character to me. I don’t dare share to much, as this one is from the newest film, still in theaters. I will say that Eva Green plays Vesper as complex, intriguing, smart and tough to read.

4. Dr. Holly Goodhead

Lois Chiles plays one of those typical “hot scientists/astronaugh/CIA Agents” that inhabit the world of James Bond. But unlike the World Is not Enough’s Denise Richards, you can believe Holly is a competent agent. She has really cool gadgets as well, like a perfume bottle flame thrower! What woman wouldn’t want that?!

http://worldnetdaily.com/news/printer-friendly.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53650

In a private session videotaped yesterday on Capitol Hill, Rep. Barney Frank, D, Mass., accused the Bush administration of “ethnic cleansing by inaction” against poor blacks in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

Oh dear. Seriously, Rep. Frank…did you really need to make that analogy? Now while ethnic cleansing is not as extreme a phrase as, say genocide, (after all, technically genocide is one way to perform an ethnic cleansing) it is still a bullet of a word.

I know it was extremely popular to claim that Bush hates, or at the very best plain doesn’t care about black people. Which makes a far more spectacular headline than the more obvious fact that the government pretty much just screwed up on every level…right on down to Ray Nagin, right? Of course, I don’t base my opinions on the ranting of rap star Kanye West.

Of course, Ethnic cleansing still conjures up the image of genocide, and hey, why not tell people George Bush is attempting to perform genocide against the African American community in New Orleans?

Let me explain why this is bad, Rep. Frank. It lowers the level of discourse, yet again. Republicans and Democrats are out to one up each other on stupid statements as of late, and it’s getting more than a little tiring. I expect absurd rhetoric from Cindy Sheehan and Kanye West. I expect it from Bill O’Reilly and all of Fox News. But you guys need to stop stopping to it. You need to show the courage to not keep hitting below the belt. People didn’t vote for Democrats so we could hear more name calling. They voted to get some sorely lacking oversight. Nothing is going to get done as long as you Democrats play off against Bush like you guys are Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump.

Speaking of Rosie and the Donald…I am fascinated by the attempts of the cable news networks to make a huge story out of this, and then pretend like they are not making a big story out of it. A caller named Sunny chastised Fox for this today on Fox and Friends. Bravo to him. All the major news outlets are treating this like it matters. And then complaining about it being news.

I had to laugh yesterday as Fox made a big to do about the Democrats taking yesterday off. The avoided mentioning to often that it was a Republican who requested yesterday off. In fact, I am not sure they mentioned it at all. I think the most appropriate spin for yesterday’s “Congressional/Senatorial Day Off” is “LOOK! ALREADY THE DEMS ARE SHOWING A SPIRIT OF BI-PARTISANSHIP!”

I am referring to either main villains or henchman in this short list.

1. Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint

I really liked these two. Most of the henchmen up to this point were deadly, but quiet. But these two exchanged dark witticism between them as they did their killing, obviously taking delight in their work. The added element of them being a gay couple added a weird, creepy element. It’s just the idea of lovers relishing in killing as much as each other (so, it would have been equally creepy if it was a heterosexual couple). Trivia fact, Bruce Glover (Mr. Wint) is the father of Crispin Glover while Putter Smith (Mr. Kidd) is a Jazz bassist.

2. Francisco Scaramanga

I like the character because he is so prideful, but he is basically an agent (although a free agent, an assassin). He has the cool island lair and nifty funhouse maze which he uses to outwit opponents. And he has the odd side kick Nick Nack (Hervé Villechaize) to boot. Christopher Lee brought a nice elegance to the character, who saw himself as the “dark side” of Bond.

3. Auric Goldfinger

Finally, there is Goldfinger (Gert Fröbe) who uttered the immortal reply “No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!” Goldfinger is a guy who gets his way at all costs, mainly by cheating. He seems to avoid losing his cool much, even when backed into a corner, which makes him (and his henchman Oddjob) seem far more threatening. He can meat out his vengeance later.

Over at the Beat, Heidi and company are doling out the (very good) advice on signing publishing deals for both up and coming artists and established